Now
before I get started, I don't think I'm any kind of pregnancy guru at all – I
am a first time mother to be and I wanted to log a true account based on
my experiences and tell the truth that I haven't read in any
blogs/apps/books. I mean, they are full of lovely happy shiny stories rather
than the day to day truth I and many others have experienced.
I
am abso-ruddy-lutely loving being pregnant, proper loving it, but it hasn't
been all sunshine and rainbows. Anyone who says it is, is a liar or completely
delusional (in my opinion).
Being
pregnant has definitely given me a new outlook on life - not that I've become
some earth mother organic loving hippy lady (far from it - I swear too much, am
brutally honest to my own detriment and eat FAR too many biscuits).
It
has however changed my perspective now I am not the only one I have to look
after and probably made me more accepting and appreciative of how ruddy amazing
we women are! I’ve also become acutely aware of how lonely some women can feel
during pregnancy and maternity leave, so I am now more than ever reaching out
to others to connect and share stories and experience and this is just one way
of me being able to do that. I definitely feel part of the “mum tribe”.
So
in no particular order, here goes a quick rundown of some home truths I
have found in my first and second trimesters:
Sickness
We
only found out we were expecting our little rainbow at 8 weeks (I thought I had
just got chubby and tried to diet the poor bean away - I even joined
Slimming world!) and as soon as
the test confirmed it, my God the sickness arrived and didn't leave for a good
6 weeks. And it wasn't only morning sickness either - they lie about that - I
suffered a cross between nausea and sickness all the live long day and all
through the night. I couldn't attribute it to any one thing and having to hide
my need to barf constantly (as we didn't want to announce until our 12
week scan) was ruddy difficult!
The
only thing I found that helped me through the day was to eat little and often -
this was not an easy task for someone as greedy as me. My general approach to
food is to eat until I feel properly full so having to "nibble" took
some getting used to.
Appetite
In
between greeting the porcelain throne on a regular basis, I found I had the
hunger of a thousand men - this did not help the "eat little and
often" approach and I often found I was sick straight after a
"feed". This did not stop me from doing the same again and again - if
I needed to eat, I ate and then if I needed to be sick, I was sick - simples -
this was the only way I could cope! I’m not saying it was fun or nice for me or
anyone around me but it got me through.
Eventually
the dreaded sickness and ravenous hunger abated a touch and I thought
"WOOHOO here is the lovely part, the part where you glow and people say
nice things to you about you glowing and growing life" - I think I was a
tad too eager to believe the whole "Hollywood" version of pregnancy -
and there's me thinking I was a realist... alas I have got distracted.
Tiredness
No
one tells you about this, not properly and truthfully anyway. The apps and
books mentioned fatigue like you'll be a bit sleepy and I believed them like it
meant I would be a bit tired like after a long day/week.
What
they fail to mention is you can feel consistently hungover - the kind of
exhausted paranoid, emotional hangover tiredness you get after an amazingly
long and fun night out - and you will need to nap for a good two hours a day,
before you need your 8-10 hours a night. You will feel like a shell of a person
and you will look worse. The
"fatigue" will make you want to cry regularly (this is a billy bonus
top up to the hormones - yay). My advice is just sleep when you can - even
though your baby is anywhere between the size of an apple seed and a raspberry,
your body is completely and utterly changing to grow new life, so don't
underestimate how much this teeny tiny being now owns you. This doesn’t go away
either – or hasn’t for me, when I hit 23 weeks I was still napping for a couple
of hours when I needed it.
Telling
people
Once
I was past the 12 weeks, I felt all excited that I could tell people that my
belly wasn't a pre Winter hibernation layer but an actual baby! The weird thing
is, is that while I told friends and family, we did the announcement on fb with
a cute pic,(yes it’s cliché but I was chuffed and we have a large amount of
family and friends all over) it's a weird thing
how you tell other people - the people you work with but don't see outside of
work. How do you tell them without coming across as smug but also being wary of
what they could be going through/have gone through previously? As someone who
has suffered a MMC, I am probably overly aware of others feelings here.
The
important thing is that if you feel like you are tired in work or you can't do
the extra hours you always have done because of your pregnancy symptoms then
just be honest. Most people are understanding and will you give you some slack!
I know a few pregnant people who don’t want to seem like they are taking the
mick but seriously people, you are growing life here and its hard work!
Travelling
If
you do go on public transport, get yourself a TFL baby on board badge - they
are magic. Now a tip here - if you can't pick one up in a major station like
Paddington/Kings Cross etc. don't bother filling in the form online if you
live outside London, they won't send you one - tweet them and they will.
There
are plenty of numpties who will ignore the sweaty, tearful, knackered preggo
lady even when you are wearing the magic badge and continue to sit down/push
past you regardless of the fact you are growing an actual human - but most
people will be kind and you will be grateful - take the seat even if you are
only just 12 weeks and proudly wearing a badge for the first time - you need to
rest whenever you can!
Boobies
I'll
keep this short and sweet - these will grow massively. They will also
hurt A LOT. Invest in some good non underwired bras as soon as
you can, you will not regret it. And get measured - you'll be surprised how
much your hoo ha's have grown.
Maternity wear and getting bigger
The
most important thing to remember is that every single lady and every single
bump is different. You will not grow in the same way or to the same shape as
anyone else, no matter if you were a similar build before or no matter how much
you had an idea of what you would look like - your body will do what it needs
to do for baby!
I
started wearing maternity jeans from 9 weeks - my belly would not fit
comfortably into my size 10's anymore and I found a lot of my more structured
work tops/blouses were becoming tight and uncomfortable around my tata's.
I'll
be really honest here - I really struggled with my changing shape and I am
still getting used to it now at 23 weeks. This might sound daft or even vain to
some of you but I felt like I had lost or at least was losing my identity. How
I dress and the image I portray is important to me as I want how I look to
be an external display of who I am. Not that I am a snazzy dresser at all, but
my wardrobe has been picked to suit me for all occasions and it has taken me a
while to get to this point. Not being able to fit into clothes that matched
that was tough.
I
will do a separate post on maternity clothes and what I have found
works/doesn't work - but the main thing here is - everyone has an opinion on
how you should dress, whether you should invest in maternity clothes or not and
whether they are worth the spend. My view is, find what works for you. I find
non maternity clothes make me look and feel bigger all over, whereas maternity
clothing fits my bump, give it a nice shape and are also ruddy comfortable –
those in the fashion industry should seriously consider making all jeans with
elasticated waists trendy.
Pregnancy Yoga
I
started going to this based on the advice of one of my Mum friends who did it
when she was expecting and it was better than I could ever imagine! I joke to
my other half that I spend two hours a week napping, breathing and eating
biscuits. Now while all three of those things do happen, the class I go to has
helped me meet mums to be in my area (where I don’t know anyone), helped ease
my back pain and given me some good tips in preparation for the birth. I would
definitely recommend it even for the two hours of “me time” it gives me a week
to zone out of everything and anything that is going on in my life.
Peeing
This
will happen a lot, all the time, no matter how much you drink or when you last
went. Get used to it.
Your
belly
Up
to 16/18 weeks as a first time mama, I experienced bloat. This is what your
body does naturally, it will go down, but you will look bigger than your weeks
and it will then go down and you will have this weird "do I even look
pregnant or fat?" feeling.
Dear
people who are not pregnant, please DO
NOT comment on this. We know you mean well, but as a pregnant lady
being told you look "big" for your weeks, you look "small"
or that your bump is getting "lovely and big" are not compliments -
they immediately make you paranoid that you are getting it wrong or you are not
doing it "right". Pregnant ladies - unless you are downing a bottle
of voddie and smoking 40 a day you are doing the best job you can be - your
bump is not a sign of anything and you look beautiful - FACT . Unless
your midwife is concerned you have nothing to worry about.
Belly
Touching
This has happened to me unexpectedly a few times now. I
wasn't sure how I felt about it at first particularly when I felt like my
"bump" was just wobbly and full of biscuits! I don't mind it so much
right now but if you don't like it, tell people! You wouldn't just randomly
touch a person's belly and pregnancy shouldn't change that - but be prepared
for it - it will happen!
Hormones
I
thought I would save the best until last... the lovely beautiful being you are
creating (I regularly remind myself I am growing an actual life!)
will completely and utterly mess with your body and hormones. You may
have the skin of a pubescent 13 year old or you may have a glow like Beyoncé
post photoshop. Your hair may be luscious and healthy or it may be lank
and greasy like Filch from Harry Potter. One thing that is true is that
there will be times where you will randomly lose your shit over nothing - this
is completely irrational and again completely normal. You will
also cry a lot, sometimes you will cry because
you lost your shit and will feel like a terrible person. This morning
I nearly cried because putting socks on was hard... honestly it is a joy!
I
think my favourite moment so far was when I cried because the plates were
in the dishwasher and I was hungry - I could not possibly see past the fact I
could hand wash them to use... yup completely ridiculous and I can
laugh about it now, but right then it felt like my world was crumbling around
me!
I
can now pretty much track when my hormones are playing up and set the warning
lights to my other half/family so at least we all know where we stand. I have
to remind myself I am not in charge of these outbursts so not to give
myself too hard a time!
So
there we have it, part 1 of my views on pregnancy so far! I'd love to get your
additions/comments and stories and I'm sure I will be posting part 2 very
soon
Written by Rhi from @Rhifreshing_
