Bad Mum 2B

Bad Mum 2B

Tuesday, 3 July 2018

Bad Mum2B Relaunch!


I thought I’d start this relaunch of Bad Mum2B by telling you a bit more about me. My name is Susan, I have a 4 year old daughter and I’ve been a single parent for more than three years now. I eat pizza for at least five meals a week and I drink copious amounts of tea. I write occasionally for Bad Mum Magazine under @pizza.for.tea and my boyfriend, friends and family mean the absolute world to me.

I’ve had some rocky times along my parenting journey and some amazing times… and now I’m out of the baby and toddler years the amazing times are definitely outweighing the rocky ones! Below is some of my thoughts on the first few years of my daughter's life and the highs and lows I've felt along that journey.

  • Conceiving and Pregnancy

I was very lucky and fell pregnant quickly. I'd only just come off the pill and we'd only been trying for a couple of months. I remember going to Morrisons (other supermarkets are available!) and buying a pregnancy test... And then doing the ultimate in classy and running to the shop toilet to pee on that stick. I couldn't wait. It was positive and I cried I was so happy. In the toilet. Looking like a mad woman.

My pregnancy was relatively straightforward and I adored being pregnant. Some nausea but no morning sickness. Tired but I worked until I was 38 and a bit weeks. I did have a few scares - I bled and had to have an additional scan and the little madam stopped moving as much towards the end of the pregnancy which resulted in me sat hooked up to a monitor for a day... But all was well. I did suffer from SPD and had the SEXIEST belt to help with this along with some physio but all in all it was a wonderful pregnancy.

  • The Birth

I had contractions for around 48 hours before my daughter was actually born. That was hard and I do remember thinking that if it was going to be like this then I wouldn't be able to do it. I was exhausted and scared. I sat through the night, unable to sleep, on a birthing ball watching Dinner Date and Under The Dome and feeling a sense of anxiousness like I've never felt before. And not just because of my questionable choice in television programmes.

I had some amazing midwives and one that sticks out as exceptionally poor. I had an appointment the day before I gave birth. I explained I had what I felt was contractions and I remember her laughing at me. Prodding my stomach several times and saying the baby would be several days yet. She wasn't saying that by 9am the following morning...! Pretty sure a quick prod to the stomach isn’t the way to tell if a woman is dilated but hey, what do I know?! Luckily the others I encountered were brilliant and made for a much more enjoyable (is that the right word?!) experience. I gave birth in a midwife led unit and looking back now I wouldn't have done it any other way. From feeling the urge to push, I guess I was in labour for around 7 hours. My waters didn't break until the last minute and I nearly had to have them broken for me. Luckily I didn't and my little girl was born with me sat on a birthing chair feeling like a bloody queen.

Just a note? The tea and toast you get post birth? The BEST you will ever taste...

  • Early Days

The early days for me were a mix of wonder, joy, loneliness and a worry that I wasn't enough or doing it right. I did all of the night feeds, both when I was breastfeeding and then when I moved on to formula. I was more tired than I'd ever known but learning to function on such little sleep soon becomes the norm. My little girl had colic and suffered greatly with teething. The main thing that got me through this time was the saying ‘this too shall pass’. And do you know what? With each difficult stage, it did pass. Eventually.

  • Baby Groups

I HATED mum and baby/toddler groups. Hated them. I felt that people didn't make an effort and would look at me like I was some weirdo if I approached them or tried to join in their conversation... Although this could just because I am a bit strange!

Groups I did enjoy however were the ones where you went with a purpose - Baby Signing and Baby Sensory both me and my daughter got so much from. I made a small group of friends here and nearly 5 years on I still meet up with for a takeaway and a catch up.

Don't ask me about my experience with Baby Yoga. Pretending to be a cat to my baby and do this without laughter was not going to work well for me.

  • Life As A Single Mother

My marriage to my daughter's father ended when she was only 1. I was heartbroken - not at the loss of my marriage to a man who ended up not being the man I thought he was (now there’s a polite way of putting it!), but at the loss of my family unit, my plans and my hopes. But as difficult as being a single parent was, and is, it is actually the best thing to ever happen to me. I truly believe I am a better parent for the lessons I have learnt in doing it alone. I am stronger, I am fiercely loyal and protective and I have learnt that I can do it all without relying on anyone. I am proud to be a single parent.

So there you have it – my early parenting journey is a massively quick and speedy nutshell. I don’t think anything quite prepares you for the journey of motherhood. Partly because we’re all so different as people and because every baby is different... but for all the low points, the sleepless nights and the hard times? I wouldn’t change it for the world.

by Susan @pizza.for.tea


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