Hi!
I thought I’d
start this relaunch of Bad Mum2B by telling you a bit more about me. My name is
Susan, I have a 4 year old daughter and I’ve been a single parent for more than three years now. I
eat pizza for at least five meals a week and I
drink copious amounts of tea. I write occasionally for Bad Mum Magazine under
@pizza.for.tea and my boyfriend, friends and
family mean the absolute world to me.
I’ve had some
rocky times along my parenting journey and some amazing times… and now I’m out
of the baby and toddler years the amazing times are definitely outweighing the rocky
ones! Below is some of my thoughts on the first few years of my daughter's life
and the highs and lows I've felt along that journey.
- Conceiving and Pregnancy
I was very lucky
and fell pregnant quickly. I'd only just come off the pill and we'd only been
trying for a couple of months. I remember going to Morrisons (other supermarkets are available!) and buying a pregnancy test... And then
doing the ultimate in classy and running to the shop toilet to pee on that
stick. I couldn't wait. It was positive and I cried I was so happy. In the toilet. Looking like a mad woman.
My pregnancy was
relatively straightforward and I adored being pregnant. Some nausea but no
morning sickness. Tired but I worked until I was 38 and a bit weeks. I did have
a few scares - I bled and had to have an additional scan and the little madam
stopped moving as much towards the end of the pregnancy which resulted in me
sat hooked up to a monitor for a day... But all was well. I did suffer from SPD
and had the SEXIEST belt to help with this along with some physio but all in
all it was a wonderful pregnancy.
- The Birth
I had
contractions for around 48 hours before my daughter was actually born. That was
hard and I do remember thinking that if it was going to be like this then I
wouldn't be able to do it. I was exhausted and scared. I sat through the night,
unable to sleep, on a birthing ball watching Dinner Date and Under The Dome and
feeling a sense of anxiousness like I've never felt before. And not just because of my questionable choice in television
programmes.
I had some
amazing midwives and one that sticks out as exceptionally poor. I had an
appointment the day before I gave birth. I explained I had what I felt was
contractions and I remember her laughing at me. Prodding my stomach several
times and saying the baby would be several days yet. She wasn't saying that by
9am the following morning...! Pretty
sure a quick prod to the stomach isn’t the way to tell if a woman is dilated
but hey, what do I know?! Luckily the others I encountered were brilliant and made for
a much more enjoyable (is that the right word?!) experience. I gave birth in a
midwife led unit and looking back now I wouldn't have done it any other way.
From feeling the urge to push, I guess I was in labour for around 7 hours. My waters
didn't break until the last minute and I nearly had to have them broken for me.
Luckily I didn't and my little girl was born with me sat on a birthing chair feeling like a bloody queen.
Just a note? The
tea and toast you get post birth? The BEST you will ever taste...
- Early Days
The early days
for me were a mix of wonder, joy, loneliness and a worry that I wasn't enough
or doing it right. I did all of the night feeds, both when I was breastfeeding
and then when I moved on to formula. I was more tired than I'd ever known but
learning to function on such little sleep soon becomes the norm. My little girl had colic and suffered greatly with teething.
The main thing that got me through this time was the saying ‘this too shall
pass’. And do you know what? With each difficult stage, it did pass.
Eventually.
- Baby Groups
I HATED mum and
baby/toddler groups. Hated them. I felt that people didn't make an effort and
would look at me like I was some weirdo if I approached them or tried to join
in their conversation... Although this could just because I am a bit strange!
Groups I did
enjoy however were the ones where you went with a purpose - Baby Signing and
Baby Sensory both me and my daughter got so much from. I made a small group of
friends here and nearly 5 years on I still meet up with for a takeaway and a catch up.
Don't ask me about my experience with Baby Yoga. Pretending to be a cat to my baby and do this without laughter was
not going to work well for me.
- Life As A Single Mother
My marriage to
my daughter's father ended when she was only 1. I was heartbroken - not at the
loss of my marriage to a man who ended up
not being the man I thought he was (now there’s a polite way of putting it!),
but at the loss of my family unit, my plans and my hopes. But as difficult as
being a single parent was, and is, it is actually the best thing to ever happen
to me. I truly believe I am a better parent for the lessons I have learnt in
doing it alone. I am stronger, I am fiercely loyal and protective and I have
learnt that I can do it all without relying on anyone. I am proud to be a single parent.
So there you have it – my early
parenting journey is a massively quick and speedy nutshell. I don’t think
anything quite prepares you for the journey of motherhood. Partly because we’re all
so different as people and because every baby is different... but for all the low
points, the sleepless nights and the hard times? I wouldn’t change it for the
world.
by Susan @pizza.for.tea
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