Bad Mum 2B

Bad Mum 2B

Wednesday, 4 July 2018

Dear friend who is just about to have your first child...

Dear Friend who is just about to have your first child,

There are no words of advice I can give which will have the needed and necessary impact. You are, in fact, completely unprepared for the precipice you are about to fling yourself off. Becoming a mother will take so much. It will start with taking your self pride. It will also take your sleep. It definitely takes patience and will likely take a toll on your marriage/partnership. Then get ready for it to take your identity.

You’ll wonder who you are and why you are and eventually you may forget what you were before you were a mother. Any worries you had before this meteor of motherhood hit will pale into insignificance compared to the worry you have about whether or not your child is ok. In fact you’ll likely worry about this every single day because the only thing harder than living every day with these little life-ruiners is NOT living with them.

The lows will be many, yet despite this, the highs will overshadow them massively.

You’ll put in extensive work... and time... and effort. This will barely be noticed or acknowledged, so don’t expect it but you’ll feel compelled to do it anyway. If you’re worried about doing it wrong then this is a sure sign you’re doing it right.

Trust your instincts and be brave enough to follow them. Get ready for criticism. If you go back to work, if you don’t, if you have one child, if you have four, if you don’t breastfeed, if you breastfeed too long; everyone will have an opinion and likely share it. Feeling guilty will come second only to feeling tired.

Here’s the secret: every Mother feels the same at some point. It’s just that some are better at hiding it than others.

Instagram is not real. Your mental resilience is dependent upon you realising this fact sooner rather than later. Be strong, and when you don’t feel strong, accept it. Be everything all at once. Find your helpers and let them

You’ll be great yet you won’t feel it. 

Everything you ever need is right in front of you yet mostly you’ll be too tired or busy to see it. But on the occasions you do see it; hold on to it and remember it.

Welcome to this amazing, shitty job.

Welcome to Motherhood.

By Victoria @mothermishap

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